Love should be a Decision, not an Emotion

Love should be a decision, not an emotion. People should not fall in love, they should make a conscious decision about it. Falling in love is not bad in itself, but falling out of love is bad.

I’m not talking about casual love. This piece deals with the mate-seeking love between a man and a woman. There are other kinds of love and relationships. Some of the principles here may or may not apply there.

If there are worldly reasons for your loving someone, those reasons can one day go away. One day, you can meet another person who has those qualities, things, or even feelings for you more than this person you love today. As you grow and change as a person, and as your position in life and in society changes, your likes and dislikes change. What you were satisfied with once may not satisfy you anymore. You may even get bored of someone.

These reasons cause two people in love to fall apart. That is sad.

Love and marriage is a very important decision. It should be a very firm decision. You should stick by it because you made that decision. If you believe in God, it should be a decision you make in front of God.

We all make mistakes. There are often times when we do something that breaks another person’s trust in us. That shouldn’t be an issue in a relationship and especially not one in a marriage. A person’s mistakes should not be able to break love because love should not be based on emotions or worldly things as I mentioned. It should be just a decision that both parties have firmly made in front of themselves, and if they believe in God, then in front of God.

Question. Decisions in life are often taken back, sometimes wisely. What about this one?

There are some decisions that you make in life not because of the consequences but because those decisions are based on your principles, your beliefs. They are based on who and what you are. If you go back on those decisions you upset the very fiber of your being. Love, the kind of love this essay deals with, should be such a decision. Remember, it should be a decision both of you make. The ideas in this writing are meant to be considered by both of you. One hand may clap, but it takes two to shake hands.

Question. Do you say that divorce is wrong?

No. If the relationship is not based on a firm decision to be for one another, then the chances of separating are higher.